Happy New Year Everyone!
As those of you who've been here before can see, there's a bit of a different look going on here at GATAB! I've been thinking about making some changes for a while now and playing around behind the scenes with some photos in Picasa and Picnik, and I decided that there probably wasn't a better time to do it than now. After all, it is the start of a fresh, new year, right?
I've never been one for New Year's resolutions. Probably because I'm not very good at keeping them. At 50 years old, I doubt that aspect of my personality will change much.
I'd rather look at it more as me, setting some new goals for myself in 2012.
One of the things I've learned in the half century that I've been on this planet, is that I have no power over the past. (trust me... that one took a while) What I do have, however, is the ability to decide how I'm going to move forward and into the the next phase of my life.
The loss of our youngest daughter 11 years ago, had a profound impact on us. For a very long time, I lived my life on auto pilot. I spent my days just going through the motions and my nights in indescribable pain. It tested my marriage. It tested pretty much everything that I thought I knew and it all but destroyed my faith. I'm still not "over it". I never will be. You don't get over the loss of a child. If you're lucky, by the Grace of God and the love and support of family and friends, you get through it.
As with most things that impact our lives so profoundly, it becomes clear pretty quickly that your life will never be the same again. It's about making choices. It's about making a conscious effort to make the best of what life hands us.
So, in the spirit of the New Year, it's time for me to choose.... It's time for things to change.
Changes
David Bowie
I still don't know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets
Every time I thought I'd got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But I've never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
I'm much too fast to take that test
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Don't want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can't trace time
I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream
Of warm impermanence and
So the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They're quite aware of what they're going through
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Don't tell t hem to grow up and out of it
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Where's your shame
You've left us up to our necks in it
Time may change me
But you can't trace time
Strange fascination, fascinating me
Changes are taking the pace I'm going through
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Oh, look out you rock 'n rollers
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Pretty soon you're gonna get a little older
Time may change me
But I can't trace time
I said that time may change me
But I can't trace time
Wishing You Blessings, Health and Happiness in the New Year
Mary
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